May 4th, 2010: Who is seeing a Dr. for BP?

OK-ay, all who would be healthy, wealthy and wise.  There is a lot of stress and time pressure out there; plus a lot of negativity that would give a brass monkey migraines!  One good thing about having high blood pressure is that when you see those high numbers on your digital cuff monitor you realize the choice is up to you.  Talk about reality check!

Oh, sure, I had doctors give me scripts once I was diagnosed 180/100.  It is nothing you can tell without a monitor.  I was married 28 years without going to a doctor except for childbirth and kidney stone.  (Ouch!)  But it wasn’t until my husband passed that I even got a hint of having high blood pressure.

I had just come back to my mentor in our inner-healing community to tell her that my physical (necessary to all care-giving staff) analysed me as high BP.  She replied that it was not a problem with my physical body but with my mind that was warring.  I told her she must be mistaken, for I considered myself very laid back.  Her answer was to instruct me to draw a picture of a double-minded man and to meditate on it.

I prayed awhile until I got a picture in mind:  On one set of shoulders I drew two necks and two faces.  One was awake and talking while the other was asleep.  I got an inspiration to write a caption balloon for the talker who was saying, “I know all about it, here is my opinion, blah, blah.”  Next I had a panel in which the other mind ‘woke up’ and saw with horror the first head was really a serpent with red eyes and forked tongue!  In the following panel the ‘Christ Mind’ took a cross-shaped dagger of the ‘word of God’ and stabbed into the Ego’s word balloon with a ‘Pop!’  Caption said, “With God’s word I pop every Ego voice or thought.”   The final panel left only the single fellow awake and peacefully smiling wearing a halo.

That was six years ago.   So why don’t I have my peaceful halo yet?  I took a look inside and saw an old pattern recurring.  Avoiding responsibility! What was I so afraid of?  Do I have that Peter Pan syndrome of never wanting to grow up?  Did I fail to perform to other’s acclaim when given responsibilities in my childhood so I subconsciously felt so embarrassed that I wanted to leave the decision-making up to the experts?  It was so easy to let the parents, teachers, pastors and alpha personalities tell me to jump.  All I had to do was be good at responding, “How high?”  Good news!  No high blood pressure!

I guess it’s a trade-off.  Take responsibility for my choices and bear the consequences and see my monitor numbers climb.  Of course there are meds to counteract what is happening to my physical body.  But they all have side effects and may do damage over the long run.

Did you know some people have a reaction to Lisinopril?  I read it on Dr. Mercola’s site,  It seems it activates a part of the brain that signals coughing! ( I found a way to manage coughing: just inhale through the nose and  swallow about four or five times and the back of the throat clears up.)

My sister had some leftover Toprol when her doctor took her off, so when she said it was the same as Metoprolol, I sub’d to save on buying mine.  I see a pattern of trying to take less than prescribed.  Is it fear of meds in general or just cheapness?  I think I heard someone say take as little as you can get by with and manage stress with exercise and meditation.

Yes, I have tried exercise.  It does bring down the numbers.  I even bought a Pilates slider machine with bungee cords online.  (My free week at the Athletic Club brought it down, too.  But I didn’t feel like spending $80 a month!)  I have a consistency problem.

I have a lot of books and videos on Yoga.  I  must have a boredom factor that needs someone else prodding me to ‘Just do it!’.  I decided to multitask in my morning routine so I sit in my semi-lotus posture at the end of my bed while drying my hair and hum along with the dryer, “AUM”!  (If you want to read my ‘ehow’ article you can.)

There is a councillor inside which speaks in a ‘still small voice’.  He tells me to visualize a beautiful fountain of three simple tiers.  I am the concrete stable manifested fountain, while Spirit is the Loving, inspiring water of the Word flowing and offering solace and comfort and faith to all who would come.  I noticed I was to be first partaker!  But how do I partake?  Dr. Jesus did not heal or manage anyone’s sickness with a ‘faith pill’!

I tried aphorisms.  That’s when you tell yourself everything’s going to be all right.  “I am lovely and beloved, I love everybody and am totally forgiving.  I am grounded, established and totally confident that the powers of the universe are bringing to me my next highest good.  God sees me as His perfect Child so I need only tell myself I am fully realized and trust the eternal ‘process’ to make it so.”  I suppose eventually they will work…as soon as my subconscious stops interjecting it’s doubting Thomas voice, “But!”

I got a new doctor.  Two actually.  I’m going to keep both of them.  One for the body and one for the Spirit.  I have chosen and now square my shoulders to take responsibility for taking care of both body and mind.  If I have chosen wrong, I trust to be shown so I can choose again.  Better.  It seems the only formulas that work for me are the ones I truly believe.  And I trust God’s voice more than I do my own.  I notice when I meditate on me being the fountain and listen to hear God’s word in the melody of the water, I read my cuff numbers and they are dropping back to normal!  If only I could be in that zone all day!

Meanwhile I have added a diuretic (Hydrochlorothiazide) to my regimen.  I’m still putting a pill in every other compartment of my med tray instead of every day.  If I get any more ‘help’ from above so I can stop these meds altogether I will let you know.



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